Team Geisha
by Sakura's Unicorn
Summary: Chakra depleted and exhausted, Team Seven needs a place to rest and recuperate.  Why did it have to be a brothel?  Are those hunter-nin coming their way?  Post-Canon Team Seven.  SasuSaku.  One-Shot.


Written for the prompt "Don't forget my lipstick. I left it in your ashtray" on the SasuSaku Month group on LiveJournal - a celebration of all things SasuSaku. Please check it out! There's a link on my profile.

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><p>'Where are they?' she thought as she bit her lip and tried to sense their chakra signatures.<p>

Team Seven had been in the middle of a particularly tough skirmish. The waves of enemy ninja kept rolling in from all sides. When her fist connected with the earth, Sakura opened up a mile-deep chasm that swallowed at least fifty of their adversaries.

Unfortunately, it also separated her from Sasuke and Naruto.

"There!" she yelled, a flash of lightning telling her that Sasuke's _Chidori_ was being unleashed in the clearing just ahead.

Flying through the treetops at a breakneck speed, Sakura was stunned by the devastation. A path of charred and mangled trees opened to a vast glade littered with injured and unconscious enemies. Spotting Naruto's bright yellow hair first, Sakura combed the wreckage for any sign of Sasuke as she alighted next to her teammate.

"Naruto?"

"S-Sakura? Zat you?" He was wounded, but Sakura could already see the Kyuubi sealing up the worst of his injuries.

"Where's Sasuke?" she asked, the alarm in her voice a little too close to the surface.

Naruto barely managed to point a finger to his right before passing out. Sakura ran a quick bead of chakra through his system, discovering that exhaustion was Naruto's most severe problem, before lamming out for Sasuke.

When she finally found him, she had to choke back an elated sob. He was burned and bleeding, but he was alive.

"Sasuke-kun? Can you hear me?" she asked, wiping a trail of blood from the corner of his mouth.

Her heart soared when his eyelids fluttered and a smirk angled his lips.

"Sakura." His eyebrows furrowed weakly as he croaked, "Where were you?"

Sakura smiled at his feeble attempt to scold her. "I could say the same to you."

"Hm," he muttered, annoyed, but a smile broke across his face as he slid a hand across her cheek. "You're okay?"

Her grin trembled with emotion as she nodded.

"Good," he mumbled as he closed his eyes with fatigue, the smile still on his face.

She breathed deeply to ease the rapid beating in her chest as she set her hands on him and began to heal.

When she'd finished, Sakura found that, between fighting and healing, she'd used up almost all of her chakra. Unfortunately for her, Naruto and Sasuke were far more chakra depleted, so the task of finding a safe haven for her team was hers to tackle.

Slinging the arms of both boys over her shoulders, Sakura dragged them to the nearest shelter so they could all rest and recover.

Unfortunately, that building was a bordello.

A house of ill-repute.

A whorehouse.

The ladies of the house had been very kind to them, especially after Sasuke pulled out a roll of money. They'd given them luxuriously exotic rooms and even scrounged up clothes for them. After a very long shower, Sakura was beginning to feel a little more like herself.

Wrapped in a towel, she held up the filmy, transparent nightgown she'd been given just as Sasuke stepped out of the bathroom, a billowing cloud of steam behind him. Rubbing a towel through his wet hair, Sakura watched as Sasuke froze when he laid eyes on the gossamer gown.

"Nope."

"Sasuke, it's just a nightgown. I need _something_ to sleep in," she pouted.

"Sakura, the last thing you'll do in _that_ is sleep. Here." He pulled a long-sleeved shirt that was big enough for him over her head. With a tug, Sakura pulled the shirt down to her knees just as her towel dropped to the floor.

"Oh, this is _much_ better," she said sarcastically, flopping the too-long sleeves over her hands.

Sakura _oh'd_ in surprise as a strong arm reached around her waist and firmly thumped her against Sasuke's bare chest.

"How do you manage to look so irresistible in everything?" Sasuke moaned, burying his face in her neck.

Sakura giggled and snaked an arm around his shoulders. "I could say the same to you," she purred, snapping the band of his boxers.

She dug her fingers into his damp hair as he pressed his lips to hers. His warm hands slid down her back and over the rounded curve of her bottom as he slowly began to hike up the hem of her oversized shirt.

Sakura's back arched in anticipation as Sasuke was just about to lay his hands on her bare flesh when the door burst open with a _bang_.

"Guys! Guys! Oto hunter-nin! On their way h—OH MY GOD!" Naruto shouted as he slapped his hand over his eyes.

Sasuke immediately pushed Sakura behind him and said between gritted teeth, "What the hell do you want, moron?"

Naruto peeked between his fingers at Sasuke and giggled. "I didn't interrupt anything, did I, Sasu-chan?"

Sakura saw Sasuke's fists tighten and she knew she'd have to head him off before this turned into an all out brawl.

"Naruto, what were you saying about hunter-nin?"

"Oh, yeah." He waved a piece of ink-splattered parchment at them. "Sai sent this message. Says Oto hunter-nin are on our trail, heading straight for this house. Sai thinks someone saw us coming here and ratted us out." Naruto lifted the paper to his face and read, "_Tell Ugly to cover her obnoxious hair if she doesn't want to get you all killed._" Naruto shrugged and grinned sheepishly at Sakura's furious expression.

Sasuke sighed and sat on the bed with a loud creak. "We're going to have to hide."

"We can't just _hide_. These are hunter-nin, Sasuke. They'll search every damn corner of the house until they find us. No. We'll have to think of something else."

"What about a henge?" asked Naruto, his hands clasped in the ram seal.

Sasuke turned to him with an exasperated look. "Do _you_ have the chakra for a henge?"

"None of us do. We'll just have to disguise ourselves," Sakura said, tapping her finger on her chin in thought.

"Oh, great! I can be Jujiro, world-weary ronin, just looking for some hot women and hot sake!" said Naruto, rubbing his hands together excitedly.

"Wrong. It's the rainy season in this part of the country, Naruto. Why do you think there's no one here but us and the ladies who live here? Business is non-existent at this time of year. No, we'll have to blend in with the residents. We'll have to become _geisha_."

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><p>Sakura was giddy as she rushed into their room with three boldly-colored kimonos slung over her arm.<p>

"Here," she said as she pressed a sapphire blue kimono against Sasuke's chest. "Put this on." Naruto had already pulled the iridescent orange gown from the pile and disappeared into the bathroom, but Sasuke's folded arms made no move toward the silky dress.

"Sasuke, don't be difficult," Sakura warned. "We're in no condition to fight. It's the only way."

When he jerked his head in the opposite direction, Sakura sighed.

Moving closer, she wrapped a hand around his neck. His head turned toward her just slightly. She was pleased to see that his arms unfolded and his hands found the curve at her lower back instinctively. Pressing her body flush to his, being sure to crush her unbound breasts against his chest, she slowly brushed her lips across his jaw. Sliding her mouth up to his ear, she whispered, her voice breathy and innocent, "Please, Sasuke-kun. For me?"

She felt telltale goose bumps race across his skin.

Sasuke grit his teeth, grabbed the kimono and stomped behind a dressing screen.

Sakura quickly slipped into her forest green kimono, pulled on a traditional black wig, threw on some make-up and then repeated the whole process for a very wiggly Naruto.

Always up for adventure, Naruto began to concoct a history for his geisha character. He lit a long, ornate pipe and, filling the room with swirling clouds of blue smoke, he told his story in a raspy drawl—how he was raised a poor peasant girl when he was secretly a princess from a land far away.

Sakura giggled at his antics as she cinched her obi tighter and shifted the collar of her dress open slightly to reveal more pale cleavage.

Naruto tapped his pipe against the ashtray and called in a shrill, girly voice, "Sasu-chan? Are you ready, dear?"

No response.

"Sasuke-kun?"

"I'm _not_ coming out."

"I'm sure you look fine. Please, Sasuke. I promise we'll never tell anyone what happened here. Right, Naruto?"

"Only if you call me Naru-hime," he tittered, relighting his pipe. Sakura raised an eyebrow, thinking Naruto was enjoying this a little too much.

"Okay, _Naru-hime_ and I will never tell anyone. Now, we have to go." She was getting a little tired of Sasuke's reluctance. He hadn't accepted her help with anything, so Sakura was sure he looked a mess. She braced herself for a very scary Sasuke as a whoosh of silky fabric indicated he was stepping out from behind the screen.

Sakura's jaw dropped.

Sasuke's gleaming black spikes were rolled and pinned to his head with cascading kanzashi that tinkled gently with each elegant turn of his head. His ruby red obi was tied into a majestic butterfly. His already pale skin was painted like virgin snow with deep, pointed triangles of delectably unpainted flesh on the back of his graceful neck. His dark eyes looked sultry and exotic, having been expertly drawn into slanted cat's eyes with ebony charcoal, and his lips were stained into a full, pouting crimson bow.

As Sakura and Naru-hime stared, gaping like landed koi, Sasuke eyed them both for a long moment. Then, with an unexpected flourish, he snapped open a fan and strode regally from the room, pausing momentarily to pull the collar of Sakura's kimono closed.

"Let's go."

He stopped and turned abruptly. Hiding half his face coquettishly behind the fan, he growled at Naruto, "Don't forget my lipstick. I left it in your ashtray."

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><p>Thanks, as always, go to Unicorn Paige for her tireless beta work. Thanks, Paige!<p> 


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